May 2013
dad: I don't see the point in suicide
me:
dad: if people are pissing you off kill them instead.
dad: if you're sad just kill other people
dad: no point in killing yourself. That's no fun.
April 2013
attractiveblogger:
whenever i give advice to someone i say ‘idk’ like 5 times a sentence because i’m so afraid they’ll follow my advice and ruin their life so yeah i can never seem to sure
do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other fucking galaxy of swirls and patterns
gettin real tired of my own bullshit
My shyness has ruined so many good opportunities.
acciohealthylifestyleeeee:
I hate recipes that require like 40 weird ass ingredients. I only have eggs, milk, flour and sugar I have no time or money to look for your 3 cups of baby dragons saliva
ekoenig:
*sunlight hits your laptop screen*
wow
every piece of dust in the world
it’s here
hungarian:
the next time someone says jesus christ just say “yes?”
March 2013
alex-of-macedonia:
theplanlaugh:
So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing
Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:
Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.
do you ever go through those phases where you just don’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days and it’s not because you’re mad or anything you just don’t feel like talking???
internetstaff:
boys are so mean and ungrateful little shits i want one
lvysaur:
dont look at me in that tone of voice
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on
thealbinoweave:
i sent a new follower an ask saying “welcome to the party” and he replied no and unfollowed me
mydeaddog:
im embarrassing and boring and im sorry
samspurpletoothbrush:
i don’t know about you, but failure has never made me want to try harder to succeed.
failure just makes me want to lie down and never do anything ever again
majortvjunkie:
it’s ok if you hate me as long as I hated you first
jesuschristvevo:
how much does talent cost
burgrs:
u get teary-eyed when u yawn bc u miss ur bed
alexis-jeanne:
Bruno Mars - Nothing on you (slow...
deodrant:
*tries to talk*
*gets ignored*
pooka-saurus:
shining-vagina:
carlyjespen:
why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars
why can’t concert tickets be like 10 dollars
why can’t everything be like 10 dollars
I’m not paying 10 dollars for a candy bar fuck you
Person: You're ugly
Me: Good, I was trying to look like you today
nippled:
I could probably fit and carry all the groceries in the bags under my eyes
sorry im poor i cant afford to pay attention
damndustin:
nani-uhane:
marionntherese:
...
padalikey:
ohana means family and family means shut the fucking door when you leave my room or i’ll fucking stab you this is the last fucking chance you little shit
February 2013
that one kid in class who thinks they’re funny and feels the need to comment on everything
puncheschildren666mas:
i dont have goals
goals are for soccer
i am not soccer
arielletherese:
TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS BEING ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ENTIRELY IN CAPS LOCK
LOL
why do people cry on the last day of school
the right time to cry is the first day of school
me: i'm gonna make you mine
me: *right click, save image as*
windspray:
people who have perfect bodies but eat junkfood and don’t exercise is the reason I hate everyone
ninjaperry:
I love when I get complimented on things that aren’t my appearance Don’t get me wrong, I love to be called pretty/cute/beautiful ect, but I love when people compliment my laugh. Or the way I sound when I just wake up. The way my hair falls naturally. How I say a certain word. Just the way that I am. I love that.
